Bar bar krne wali cheez

Bus stop mein jake ek bench mein dhire se baithe,pocket se phone nikal ke bar bar insta check krne laga, ekbr scroll krke fir kisi ke picture ke upar dhora der ruk akr firse scroll krta rha, fir achanak app ko close krke phone ko apne pocket mein rkh diya, pta nhi! Shayad ghabra ke kiya ya to kisi ko dkh ke. Ek bus ake ruki, main dhire se bus ki taraf dkha aur sar niche kr lete hi achanak sar upar krte hi dkha bus smne nhi hai, “shayad maine usme kisiko dkha” ye sochte huye sar niche krke hi bench mein baitha raha.

Kuch der bad mere route ka bus ate hi uspe char gya, uthte hi seta ke smne khara ho gya, aur dhire se phone aur earphone nikala hi tha ki ek aadmi bol utha, “bhaiya jab baithne ka jagah hai to knara kyun hai, baith jaiye.”, main unhe sunke bhi utna dhyan na deke wohi par khadar aha. Agla stop ate hi, koi ek bus mein char ke hi mujhe dhaka mar ke gya, main jaise taise apna phone sambhal ke uska hat pakar liya, hat pakar te hi smjha ki wo ek ladki hai, wo ghum ke mere tara fake ek jor se thappad marke boli “dhakka laga to sorry bol deta, par!”  ye bolke wo waha se age jake smne ke seat mein baith gyi. Mujhe pata nhi chala ki achanak kya ho gya, maine aisa kya kr diya, “dhakka to usne mara tha, aur hat pakad liya to sbke smne thapad mrne ka kya tha” ye sochte huye jake seat pe baith gya. Baithte hi ekjn bol utha “kya bhaiya ldkiyo se thapad khane ka intezar kr rhe the, isiliye bolne par bhi aap baithe nhi”, main sunke bhi kuch bola nhi. Apne aapk ko jaise kuch jyada ki khrb lg rha tha, us mein bhi bar bar wo ldki mere taraf dkh rhi thi to main aur bhi sar niche krke hi baitha rha. Kuch der bad wo ldki utar gyi to main sar thora relax feel krke baitha, achanak nazar mere bagal mein baithe ek admi ke upr gya, to smjha ki wo admi tinder use kr rha tha, aur kismet bhi dkho ek sthe right swipe bhi kr rha tha aur chats bhi. Phle use dkhe ke thora judge krne laga par bad mein ehsaash hua ki akhir wo khush to hai. Uske taraf dkh ke ekbr dhire se hasa aur apna stop ate hi utar gya.

Office pohuch ke apne chair pr baith te hi awaz aya “Bhai idhr sun to ekbr…”, jake dkha ki apna screen dikha ke mera manager bol utha “kitni bar tujhe bola tha ki kal jate waqt ye bhej dena shi se, jab bol rha tha tb phone mein ghusa tha, itni bar bolne ke bad bhi sirf ha ha krta rha aur bola sb samajh gye hai, aur abhi ake dkhta hu ki jo bolke ke gya tha wohi galati kar diya, tera dhyan kaha rhta hai, ab bata main unhe iska kya jawab du!!!” Main sb sunne ke bad jab kuch bolne ka koshish kiya to smne se wo bol uthe, “Dkh bhai aise kam nhi chlta hai, kr denge kr denge tension mt lijiye ye sb bolbe you have created this mess, aise kam nhi chlta hai bhai”, mujhe to kuch samajh mein bhi nhi a rha tha ki kis cheeze ko leke main itna sun rha tha par main waha khada rha, pata nhi chl rha tha ki aj bhi main aise kyun khada hua tha jbki mujhe pata hi nhi ki maine kiya kya tha……

Jake apne seat pe baith ke pani pi rha tha tb achanak piche koi ake bola “Bhai ise dkh to, iske sth tera bohot pics dkhta hu, pehchanti hai ise, bhai mst hai, lbhi mil na bhai pls”, main to jaise bina kuch sune hi bol diya “Ha bhai koi nhi bol dunga usko, mil lena thn.” Bol diya bt mujhe to shayad pata bhi nhi ki usne kiska pic mujhe dikhaya kuch bhi shi se yad bhi nhi tha. Kuch der bad lunch krke bahar jake ek cigarette jala ke phn nikala aur insta app ke message section open kiya, kuch dera tehra aur do phoonk mrke phn ko bandh karke cigarette o bujha ke chala gya. Office se nkl ke bus mein phn niakl ke game khlne laga, usi bich tinder app ka ad a gya, close krke firse game khlne laga, kuch der bad jb youtube mein ek video to uske bich mein bhi same ad a gya, ab shayad download kr hi lu ye sochke finally download kr hi liya. Sign in krne ke bad to bohot sare chehre smne a gye the, thora awkward feel krke app ko close kr diya.

Ghar lautke firse app ko open kiya, firse kuch naye chehre a gye aur main apne kam mein jut gya tha. Shayad kcuh zyada hi right swipe kr diya tha to limit bhi khtm ho gya jldi, to bs app close krke so gya. Subah uth ke wohi ek boring routine, naha dho ke rdy hoke khane baitha, phone uthaya aur firse insta mein message check kiya to firse kuch rply nhi tha aur tinder mein bhi kuch progress hua nhi tha to bs news dkh ke facebook check krke nikal pada roj ki tarah, shayad aj bhi bus mein koi anhooni ho jata par aj phle hi baith gya tha seat milte hi. Office pohoch ke bhi kuch khas ho nhi rha tha, adhe time mails check, kuch kam break mein sutta, kuch anjan logon ke sth batein haste haste aur firse insta mein message ka intezaar fir bus pakadna aur ghar laut ana, aur fir likes ka stock bhar jane ke bad right swipe krke usko bhi khtm kr dena, aisa hi chl rha tha life.

So finally, Sunday aya, hm IT workers ke life ka sbse khas din bt shayad mere liye utna khus khas than hi krne ko bs wohi late se uthna breakfast krna phn use krna bs. To Aaj bhi kuch aisa hi tha, but kise pata tha ki kuch alag hone wala tha. To bs wohi subah late se utha aur uthte hi phone dkha to ek notification dikha tinder ka, jldi jldi uth ke tinder open kiya aur dkha ki ek match hua hai, to main bhi bina late kiye tinder open krke wo profile dlhne laga to, bohot kuch likha that hora par ke maine “Hi” bhej diya… ab bs rply ka wait tha taki age kuch bat bare, 3 ghante bad rply aya “Hi! Do you know me..” mujhe laga ki ye kya betuki batein bol rhi hai kyunki yaha to shayad hi koi kisiko jnta hai to main bhi bol diya “No”, to bs wo “Hmmm” reply de ke aur kuch nhi boli. 12 baj rha tha aur main bs yuhi bed pe leta hua tha, to fir se “ting… “ awaz ayi to dkha to dkhta hu ki wo kuch likhi hai, “To agar hm nhi jnte hai to can we talk here to know each other”, main tehra bkr khli wo bhi Sunday ke din wala bina dosto wala ek ldka to bs maine bhi “Ha” lkh diya. To bas aise batein chalu ho gya. Pta hi nhi chala ki kab sham ke 5 bj gye tha aur maine kuch khaya bhi nhi tha, numbers exchange ho gye aur fir next week milne ka bhi plan rdy tha. Fir achanak shaam ke 6 bje wo call krke boli, shayad uska mood kuch zyada hi acha tha aur bohut khush wali ek awaaz mein boli “Hi, kya hmlog next week je wajah aj mil skte hai”, main bhi kuch na sochke bol diya “Ha ha kyun nhi. We can“, to bs jagah restaurant decide hua ki kaha jana hai aur main to jldi jldi fresh hoke mkl pada.

Rat ke 8 bj gye main restaurant mein baitha tha, use call kiya to wo boli “Ha a rhi hu, thora late ho gya, bus nhi mil rha tha,” to main bhi bol diya “Ha ha koi jldi nhi I’m waiting here tum arm se ao”, 9 baj gye fir 9.30 ab shi mein tension bar gya tha ki uske sth kuch hai kin hi, wo shi bhi hai kin hi, to firse call kiya to wo rcv nhi kr rhi thi. Main restaurant se nkl ke raste se chlke apne flat laut hi aya tha ki phone baja aur wo call kat di, thn 2 mins dkhta hu ek text aya “Sorry ajke liye, next week.”. Mereko thora khrb to laga tha pr ab kya hi krna, anjan kisise to ap expect bhi kya hi kr skte hai, shayad pehchan walo se bhi nhi kr pate, aur yaha to bs ek din chat wali dost thi wo. Firse subah hui aur fir naya din but wohi boring Monday, kuch motivation Monday wala quotes prke nkla aur fir wohi phn mein insta mein message section dkhna, firse koi rply nhi tha, fir whatsapp mein check krna yaha bhi koi naya kuch than hi, to bs phone rkh diya. Office pohucte hi ek meeting tha, meeting chalu hua, kuch der bad mujhe lcuh present krna tha aur main sb rdy hoke arm se baitha hi tha ki call a gya, main kat diya to frse call aya, maine firse kat diya, meeting  khtm krke main jb use call krne laga to wo call rcv krke mujhe gali sunane lagi, main use kuch bolu iske phle wo aise mujhe datne lagi ki mujhe laga kya hmlog itne close hai, kya shi main use meri itni fikar hai, kya mujhe bhi ise itna attention dena chahiye, ye sb sochte sochte main bat krne laga use, “Soory, meeting mein tha isiliye call receive nhi kar paya”, to finally aur bhi kuch bolne ke bad wo shant hui aur fir main use pucha ki kal wo kyun nhi ayi, to wo batayi ki “Wo asl mein kal jb wo nikli to bus stand mein wo apne ek uncle se mili aur fir wo fir unke sth apne ghar chali gyi, bohot dino bd mili thi unse so wo bara bar request kiya to mana nhi kar paya aur tujhe call krna bhi rh gya tha.” Ye sunke pata nhi kaise react karu bt laga ki thik hai, itna bhi kya hak jatana, to “Hmm got it, thik hai koi nhi is week mil lenge” to bs itna bol ke phn rkh diya. Ghar pohuch ke firse uske sath late night tak batein aur phir late krke sona, late se uthna, mano jaise pura life change ho gya tha. Dosto se phle suan tha ki pyaar mein aisa hota hai, kuch jyada hi time dena pdta hai par ye bhi to koi nyi bat nhi hai mere liye, sirf pyaar badalta rhta hai. Subah late se utha aur use cal krke bola ki aaj late ho gya hai to chalo aj ek sth bus lenge, kyunki wo mere office ke smne hi khi pe job krti thi to socha ki mil liya jayega, to wo ha boli. Main fatafat rdy hoke nikla aur bus mein char kr use call kiya to wo boli, “Sorry re aaj main phle wala bus le liya tha, as I was really getting late.” Firse “koi nhi!!!” bolke phn rkh diya.

To bs abhi routine kuch badal sa gya tha shayad main abhi utna insta pe message check nhi krta tha par shayad whatsapp mein usse batein bar gya tha, uski calls ka intezaar krta tha, apna kam khtm krke ghar jake bat krne ke liye ruka rhta tha, pta nhi aisa hal uska bhi hua hai ki nhi par mera shayad kuch jyada hi ho gya aur itna jldi hi.  Dkhte Dkhte Sunday a gya, pura week hum dono ne plan banake rkha tha ki phle date mein kaha ghumne jana hai. Saturday rat ke 3 bje tak hm dono bat krte rhe. Sunday hua, shayad itna khush main phle kbhi koi Sunday mein nhi hua tha, jldi jldi sb saf krke khud bhi ready hoke nklne ne wala tha, to achanak uska call aya, wo boli “Thora der bad nikloge pls, ghar mein kuch log a gye hai, to main thore der mein niklungi” main bola “OK koi bat nhi, nklne se phle call kr dena”. Bs fir se main koi movie dkhne baith gya as usual aur time bitta gya. Sham ke 7 bj gye the to main use jb call kiya to wo boli “Sorry tujhe bol nhi payi, asl mein relatives nklne nhi diya mujhe, so sorry next week pakka milenge” thori harbari mein hi ye bolke wo phone rakh di. Main kya thori der socha uske bad fir wohi movie dkhte dkhte khana khake so gya. Subah utha to wohi same routine, bus mein thori batein, fir office fir batein fir ghar wapas and fir batein. Firse Sunday a gya aur isbr ka pln same hi tha last week ka jaisa hi, pta hai ki ekbr bhi pln successful hua nhi tha par fir bhi dil mein umeed thi ki shayad aj use finally milunga aur use dhero batein hogi, fir khi ghumne jayenge, bs aise hi kuch khayali pulao to paka hi liye the man mein, apr mujhe kya pata ki meri pulao yaha bhi sirf khwab hi nklegi, subah uth te hi uska msg tha “Call me….” To call kiya aur wo boli “Uska tabiyat bohot khrb hai aur aj hm nhi mil payenge.” Main bhi sirf “Take care” bol ke call rkh diya, bs pura din uska koi call nhi , msg nhi, main karu to rcv nhi krti thi, ab mujhe dar lgne laga tha but main kr bhi kuch nhi skta tha. Socha ki chalo kal uske office jake mil lunga, par mujhe to uska company ka sirf nam pta hai aur jyada kuch nhi, aur aise to mujhe usse milne bhi nhi dega. Kya karu sochne laga to bs din gujarte gye. 3 din gujar gya tha na koi call na koi msg sirf jaise kisi ajanne ke liye intezaar kr rha tha main. pta nhi chl rha tha ki jise dkha nhi ekbr bar bhi par usse pyaar kaise ho gya tha, pata nhi aisa ek feel kyun ho rha tha ki firse koi bohot paas ake fir se bohot dur jane wala tha.

To a gya firse ek Sunday aur isbr mujhe koi khas ummed nhi thi, to isbr apne ummed pe hi khara utra aur phle ki tarah na koi call na koi msg. 7 din ho gye the humein bat kiye huye, shayad dhire dhire pata lag chuka tha ki ye bhi mere zindagi bs aise hi ayi thi, to abhi to utna farak pdta bhi nhi hai, jaise ye adaat ban chuka hai. Achanak ekdn meeting ke waqt uska call aya, aur main meetig beech mein chor ke uth aya, “Hello, kaha hai tu, kaisa hai, aur itne din kaha thi, phone kyun nhi kiya” ye sb bolne laga aur wo sb sunke bola ki “shayad, it’s not working between us, mujhe nhi lgta ki u are my type.” Aur wo phn disconnect kr di, mujhe pata nhi chl rha tha ki main kya karu, wohi baith gya smne ek bench mein, bar bar usko call krne ko try kiya bt wo uthaya nhi.

Ghar lautke firse call kiya to phn lg nhi rha tha, gussa a rha tha pr shayad ye phli bar to tha nhi to apne aap ke upr thora haske room mein chala gya. Khaya tha kin hi pta bhi nhi pr itna sure tha ki puri rat hmlogo ke beech mein jo batein huyi thi wo bohot bar par liya tha, ek hope tha dil mein ki shayd isbr sb shi ho jayega, firse kal karunga and use mana lunga. Subah utha to dkha ki uska phn off tha, main as usual roj ki tarah ofc jane ke liye bus mein chara aur kismet acha tha ki window seat mil gya, shayad phli bar hawa khate huye ofc jane ka maza le paunga, to bs use phn try krta rha aur kbhi kbhi whatsapp mein bhi msg bhejta rha, pta hai ki dkh nhi rhi hai pr kosish to krna apna kam tha. Ek jagah achanak bus ruki aur window se mujhe koi dikhi, “Ye to wo hai na!!!” apne man mein hi bolne laga, pr wo to phle jati thi har roj , aur iske sth ye ldka kaun hai, main socha ki bus se utr jau pr utar na saka, fir kcuh din uska whatsapp ka dp check kiya to dkha ki wo badal chuka hai aur jis ldke ko usdn maine dkha uske sth, usi ke sth kiss krte waqt ki photo tha, thora chauka par uske bad thora apne ap ko aine mein dkh ke hash bhi diya, “Shayad log abhi bhi pyaar ki batein dil se krte hai, par phli bar kisiko pasand to usko dkh ke hi ata hai.” Bs seat mein ake baith gya tha.  Manager bula rha tha “Sun bhai ekbr a to idhr” main gya, to wo bol uthe “Bhai man nhi lgta to bol project se nkl dete hai, shayad last time ka jo bheja tha wo client ko thik laga pr meeting ke waqt bhag jana is not professionalism” main sunke “sorry bhaiya, shayad..” bs itna bolke waha se chala gya. Lunch ke bad fir wohi cigarette phunkte phunkte phone nikala aur whatsapp check krne laga, pta tha ki shayad isbr bhi koi rply nhi ayegi par tab bhi ek asha thi.

Sham ko gahr laut te waqt ek ldke ko dkha tinder use krte huye, to main bhi phn nikala aur firse tinder download kr liya.

Shayad pyaar aise nhi hota, log khenge ki pyaar jldi nhi hota hai, ise waqt dena pdta hai, pr shayad mere jaise bhi bohot hai jise shayad pyaar har bar aise hi milta hai kuch batein, kuch plannings ise hi wo pyaar samajh baith te hai, kyunki shayad hamein koi sacha pyaar krne wala mila hi nhi kaise kahiniyo mein ya movies mein hote hai, hamein to pyaar bhi milta hai youtube ke wo short videos ke jaisa, jiska ant humein video chalu hone se phle hi pata chl jata hai. Kasoor shayad kisika nhi hai kyunki we all are looking for the best people to be with par ye bhi sochna chahiye ki iske chakkar mein ye bhi sochna chahiye ki kisiko agr dur bhagana hi hai to use apne aur na hi khicho, shayad unhe bhi pyaar krna tha kisi aur se isiliye use jalane ke liye dusre kisiko pakadte hai par ye nhi samajhte ki jisko tum use kr rhi ho use bhi to puch lo.

Mere jaise bohot hai is duniya mein isilye to ye Love-Flirting wale app itna business kr pa rha hai bt koi nhi hm bhi nirash km hi rhte hai kyunki humein bhi pata hai pyaar shayad bar bar ho hi jata hai aur hum jaise usme bar bar fas bhi jate hai.

-   Prodipto Das